A very happy Easter to all my friends....I pray you would understand more deeply the great sacrifice Jesus made for us.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you..."
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Friday, April 14, 2006
Funky Kitchen
So take a look at the boring cabinets we got with the house. I had the idea to distress them but I had no clue how and I was petrified that I would ruin them. Enter my wonderful artist friend Sandra who heard my vision and is holding my hand through this process. I've learned so much and am having a blast making these things look as beat up as possible!
I had to clean and sand the cabinets first - time consuming. I had primer tinted this red color which was supposed to be darker, but I found out that primer can only get SO dark. This was the best barn red Sherwin Williams Ryan could give me.
So far, the kitchen cabinets are not finished, however I have done the laundry room cabinets, and I am ecstatic about them! Unfortunately, I can't get a good picture to show you here. The lighting in that room is terrible, so you'll just have to wait and see the real deal when I'm done! Also, I didn't want to purchase new hardware, so Sandra RUSTED my current hardware! It is the neatest look! I'll post pictures of that later. It inspired me to bring my grandmother's old white (and rusted) metal rocker into the kitchen. VERY cool.
I had to clean and sand the cabinets first - time consuming. I had primer tinted this red color which was supposed to be darker, but I found out that primer can only get SO dark. This was the best barn red Sherwin Williams Ryan could give me.
So far, the kitchen cabinets are not finished, however I have done the laundry room cabinets, and I am ecstatic about them! Unfortunately, I can't get a good picture to show you here. The lighting in that room is terrible, so you'll just have to wait and see the real deal when I'm done! Also, I didn't want to purchase new hardware, so Sandra RUSTED my current hardware! It is the neatest look! I'll post pictures of that later. It inspired me to bring my grandmother's old white (and rusted) metal rocker into the kitchen. VERY cool.
Monday, March 13, 2006
The House We Built
Okay, so we really didn't build our house. We moved out to suburbia 2 years ago and got a great deal on a cape cod that a relo company owned. We moved from a 1600 square foot cutie-pie into a sweeping farmhouse (my view of it anyway) with a gorgeous front and back porch, tile and hardwood floors, huge picture windows and a master bathroom that made me cry the first time I saw it. Later on after we moved in, I found a list of things I'd wanted in a house and the Lord had given me every single item on my list! I hadn't even realized it when we moved! In fact, I'd forgotten I'd made that list, but God never did. He knew that I wanted a nice house and a happy family and lots of friends to fill it more than anything else in the world. He gives us the desires of our heart.
So here we are, two years later and I'm trying to, as inexpensively as possible, make it mine. We've done some major painting the past 2 weeks. The house was loaded with dark oak dentil molding, oak doors, dark oak wooden blinds....lots of oak. Yuck. It needed to be set free, so we painted all the trim in the living and dining rooms white and put a vanilla color on the walls. It's actually a Behr paint called Cottage White. It's gorgeous! The whole downstairs is light and airy and beautiful. I can see the whole side of my yard now. No more blinds! See what I mean?
So here we are, two years later and I'm trying to, as inexpensively as possible, make it mine. We've done some major painting the past 2 weeks. The house was loaded with dark oak dentil molding, oak doors, dark oak wooden blinds....lots of oak. Yuck. It needed to be set free, so we painted all the trim in the living and dining rooms white and put a vanilla color on the walls. It's actually a Behr paint called Cottage White. It's gorgeous! The whole downstairs is light and airy and beautiful. I can see the whole side of my yard now. No more blinds! See what I mean?
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Valentines Update
By the way, I never told you that Nice Guy cried when he read the card I'd made him. He cried. Sigh....
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Happy Valentines Day
Happy Valentines from Momma. I love Valentines.....it's a fun, romantic holiday and I'm a romantic at heart. Of course, I also have a romantic husband so that makes it even more fun. I guess if I were single or if Nice Guy just didn't get it, not so much fun.
I made Nice Guy a homemade Valentine card, which I do alot - make homemade things, that is. I like making things because I'm cheap, but I'm also an artist at heart (although I'm not exactly trained or anything like that). I was inspired because my girls are taking an art class where they've been making these neat books with lots of cool paint techniques and collages. I got a book from the library called Altered Art and that inspired me too....so I printed up that e.e. cummings poem that Cameron Diaz read to her sister in the movie In Her Shoes because I LOVE that poem. (It's called "i carry your heart with me" if you want to look it up.) And I had these cute pictures I cut out and I have lots of scrapbooking supplies including very nice paper, so I was set to make the Most Romantic Card Ever.
I sewed (yes, with my sewing machine - pretty cool) some paper into a book and started gluing on the pictures and the poem and then I painted the whole thing. If you, too, are trying to create a last minute card because you don't have time to run to the store (say, you live in a high traffic area) but you DO have 4 hours to spare in the making of a homemade card) here's a few do's and don'ts I learned. Let's call it Cardmaking 101:
1. If you sew together your pages first and then try to paint, the paint that's meant for one page will end up on all the pages.
2. If you glue down all your pictures before painting, the paint will cover the pictures and you won't see them. This should be obvious but sometimes we just don't think of these things.
3. Dogs like to sniff paint that's sitting on the floor.
4. Puppies like to play in paint that's sitting on the floor.
5. If you have ANY animals in your house, they should be kept out of the crafting area.
6. Carpet absorbs paint.
7. Remind the recipient that it's the thought that counts.
8. If you need detailed directions in the actual making of your card, contact a professional.
Happy Valentines Day!
I made Nice Guy a homemade Valentine card, which I do alot - make homemade things, that is. I like making things because I'm cheap, but I'm also an artist at heart (although I'm not exactly trained or anything like that). I was inspired because my girls are taking an art class where they've been making these neat books with lots of cool paint techniques and collages. I got a book from the library called Altered Art and that inspired me too....so I printed up that e.e. cummings poem that Cameron Diaz read to her sister in the movie In Her Shoes because I LOVE that poem. (It's called "i carry your heart with me" if you want to look it up.) And I had these cute pictures I cut out and I have lots of scrapbooking supplies including very nice paper, so I was set to make the Most Romantic Card Ever.
I sewed (yes, with my sewing machine - pretty cool) some paper into a book and started gluing on the pictures and the poem and then I painted the whole thing. If you, too, are trying to create a last minute card because you don't have time to run to the store (say, you live in a high traffic area) but you DO have 4 hours to spare in the making of a homemade card) here's a few do's and don'ts I learned. Let's call it Cardmaking 101:
1. If you sew together your pages first and then try to paint, the paint that's meant for one page will end up on all the pages.
2. If you glue down all your pictures before painting, the paint will cover the pictures and you won't see them. This should be obvious but sometimes we just don't think of these things.
3. Dogs like to sniff paint that's sitting on the floor.
4. Puppies like to play in paint that's sitting on the floor.
5. If you have ANY animals in your house, they should be kept out of the crafting area.
6. Carpet absorbs paint.
7. Remind the recipient that it's the thought that counts.
8. If you need detailed directions in the actual making of your card, contact a professional.
Happy Valentines Day!
Friday, February 03, 2006
80's Teen, but 70's Child
This morning, a friend I grew up with sent this to me....reminded me so much of our childhood together, I'm pretty sure she wrote it!
You were a little girl in the 70's if:
You wore a rainbow shirt that was half-sleeves, and the rainbow went up one sleeve, across your chest, and down the other.
You made baby chocolate cakes in your Easy Bake Oven and washed them down with snow cones from your Snoopy Snow Cone Machine.
You owned a bicycle with a banana seat and a plastic basket with flowers on it.
You learned to skate with actual skates (not roller blades) that had metal wheels.
You thought Gopher from Love Boat was cute (umm, try Scott Baio).
You had either a "bowl cut" or "pixie," not to mention the "Dorothy Hamill" because your Mom was sick of braiding your hair. People sometimes thought you were a boy. (My poor sister, there's a picture of her with her Dorothy Hamill and me with the Shag cut on my naturally curly, frizzy hair. I look like a q-tip. Both of us look very, very strange.)
Your Holly Hobbie sleeping bag was your most prized possession.
You wore a poncho, gauchos, and knickers.... and later on legwarmers...in every color!
You begged Santa for the electronic game, Simon.
You had the Donnie and Marie dolls with those pink and purple satiny shredded outfits.
You spent hours in your backyard on your metal swing set with the trapeze. The swing set tipped over at least once.
You had homemade ribbon barrettes in every imaginable color.
You had a pair of Doctor Scholl's sandals (the ones with hard sole & the buckle).
You wanted to be Laura Ingalls Wilder really bad; you wore that Little House on the Prairie-inspired plaid, ruffle shirt with the high neck in at least one school picture; and you despised Nellie Olson! (AND I had a Pioneer outfit my grandmother made me. I could also be Holly Hobbie in this outfit.)
You wanted your first kiss to be at the roller rink.
Your hairstyle was described as having "wings" or "feathers" and you kept it "pretty" with the comb you kept in your back pocket.
You know who Strawberry Shortcake is, as well as her friends, Blueberry Muffin and Huckleberry Pie.
You carried a Muppets lunch box to school and it was metal, not plastic. (Muppets in Space, thank you very much.)
You and your girlfriends would fight over which of the Dukes of Hazzard was your boyfriend.
You and two of your best friends would play "Charlies Angels", And whomever was the blonde would automatically be Jill (Farrah Fawcett) and later on, her little sister, Kris (Cheryl Ladd); and whoever was a brunette would've to argue over being either Sabrina (Kate Jackson) or Kelly (Jaclyn Smith).
It was a big event in your household each year when the "Wizard of Oz"would come on TV. Your mom would break out the popcorn and sleeping bags! (AND everything stopped at 8:00 pm on Sunday evenings to watch the Wonderful World of Disney.)
You often asked your Magic-8 ball the question: "Who will I marry, Shaun Cassidy or Leif Garrett?"
You completely wore out your Grease, Saturday Night Fever, and Fame soundtrack record album.
You tried to do lots of arts and crafts, like yarn and Popsicle-stick God's eyes or decoupage.
You used to tape record songs off the radio by holding your portable tape player up to the speaker.
You couldn't wait to get the free animal poster that came when you ordered books from the Weekly Reader book club. Double score if it was a teddy bear dressed in clothing.
You learned everything you needed to know about girl issues from Judy Blume books (Are you there God, It's me, Margaret.) (Absolutely - and unfortunately from the banned, Forever book as well!)
You thought Olivia Newton John's song "Physical" was about aerobics.
You wanted to be a Solid Gold dancer.
You had a Big Wheel with a brake on the side, and a Sit-n-Spin.
You drowned yourself in Love's Baby Soft - which was the first "real"perfume you ever owned. (And is truthfully, much less "intrusive" to the senses than Plumeria Body Spray from Bath and Body Works!)
You were a little girl in the 70's if:
You wore a rainbow shirt that was half-sleeves, and the rainbow went up one sleeve, across your chest, and down the other.
You made baby chocolate cakes in your Easy Bake Oven and washed them down with snow cones from your Snoopy Snow Cone Machine.
You owned a bicycle with a banana seat and a plastic basket with flowers on it.
You learned to skate with actual skates (not roller blades) that had metal wheels.
You thought Gopher from Love Boat was cute (umm, try Scott Baio).
You had either a "bowl cut" or "pixie," not to mention the "Dorothy Hamill" because your Mom was sick of braiding your hair. People sometimes thought you were a boy. (My poor sister, there's a picture of her with her Dorothy Hamill and me with the Shag cut on my naturally curly, frizzy hair. I look like a q-tip. Both of us look very, very strange.)
Your Holly Hobbie sleeping bag was your most prized possession.
You wore a poncho, gauchos, and knickers.... and later on legwarmers...in every color!
You begged Santa for the electronic game, Simon.
You had the Donnie and Marie dolls with those pink and purple satiny shredded outfits.
You spent hours in your backyard on your metal swing set with the trapeze. The swing set tipped over at least once.
You had homemade ribbon barrettes in every imaginable color.
You had a pair of Doctor Scholl's sandals (the ones with hard sole & the buckle).
You wanted to be Laura Ingalls Wilder really bad; you wore that Little House on the Prairie-inspired plaid, ruffle shirt with the high neck in at least one school picture; and you despised Nellie Olson! (AND I had a Pioneer outfit my grandmother made me. I could also be Holly Hobbie in this outfit.)
You wanted your first kiss to be at the roller rink.
Your hairstyle was described as having "wings" or "feathers" and you kept it "pretty" with the comb you kept in your back pocket.
You know who Strawberry Shortcake is, as well as her friends, Blueberry Muffin and Huckleberry Pie.
You carried a Muppets lunch box to school and it was metal, not plastic. (Muppets in Space, thank you very much.)
You and your girlfriends would fight over which of the Dukes of Hazzard was your boyfriend.
You and two of your best friends would play "Charlies Angels", And whomever was the blonde would automatically be Jill (Farrah Fawcett) and later on, her little sister, Kris (Cheryl Ladd); and whoever was a brunette would've to argue over being either Sabrina (Kate Jackson) or Kelly (Jaclyn Smith).
It was a big event in your household each year when the "Wizard of Oz"would come on TV. Your mom would break out the popcorn and sleeping bags! (AND everything stopped at 8:00 pm on Sunday evenings to watch the Wonderful World of Disney.)
You often asked your Magic-8 ball the question: "Who will I marry, Shaun Cassidy or Leif Garrett?"
You completely wore out your Grease, Saturday Night Fever, and Fame soundtrack record album.
You tried to do lots of arts and crafts, like yarn and Popsicle-stick God's eyes or decoupage.
You used to tape record songs off the radio by holding your portable tape player up to the speaker.
You couldn't wait to get the free animal poster that came when you ordered books from the Weekly Reader book club. Double score if it was a teddy bear dressed in clothing.
You learned everything you needed to know about girl issues from Judy Blume books (Are you there God, It's me, Margaret.) (Absolutely - and unfortunately from the banned, Forever book as well!)
You thought Olivia Newton John's song "Physical" was about aerobics.
You wanted to be a Solid Gold dancer.
You had a Big Wheel with a brake on the side, and a Sit-n-Spin.
You drowned yourself in Love's Baby Soft - which was the first "real"perfume you ever owned. (And is truthfully, much less "intrusive" to the senses than Plumeria Body Spray from Bath and Body Works!)
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Ice, Ice Baby
It is nasty here this morning in South Carolina as I understand it is across most of the U.S. I'm thinking about my friends who have skedaddled down to New Orleans for some relief work and are staying in tents. TENTS! I hope they are okay and not freezing their hineys off.
Nice Guy works 3rd shift and went into work early last night, anticipating he'd be home by 2:00 a.m. or so. I woke at 5:00 with a start. He was not in bed with me, nor was he watching TV or reading the paper, or in fact, anywhere in the whole house. (Finally, duh!, I check the garage to see if the car is there. Nope.) I let my puppers out to go potty and it is icy on the deck. I panic and try to call his cell phone. No answer.
I keep thinking he surely would not have stayed at work. After one too many bad weather accidents we are very skittish when it ices like this. Finally, I turn on the news and hear the weather lady explain, yes, there is ice on certain surfaces like this car window here, but the roads are clear. She demonstrates by smacking the car window with a gloved hand and the road she's on with her boot. Back to you, Bob.
He must still be at work.....I'm assuming. I guess I should I mention right now that when he enters the security gate at work, it takes an act of Congress for me to get in touch with him. When my sister called me at 2:00 in the morning on September 28th and said, hurry, dad has taken a turn for the worse and we're not sure he's gonna make it. I had to beg a security guard to go find him because he didn't answer his cell. He actually took my NAME and NUMBER FOR HIS RECORDS while I'm crying on the phone begging him to please go to B Bay and get my husband.....My DAD is DYING! Looking back now I'm sure I was talking to a robot who only sounded human.
So now, this morning, I'm pacing, trying to pray, but why is that almost impossible when you're a nervous wreck? I continue to watch the news where they continue to assure me the roads are safe. I see livecams of roads near his place of employment and watch cars whizzing by. I start to relax a little. Finally, he calls at 7:00 to tell me he's on his way home. I have to yell at him a bit for not letting me know anything because that's what wives do. He promises to take it slow coming home and when I hear the garage door open I rush outside and see him at the bottom of the drive, barely able to get through the two crepe myrtles on either side because they are bent double under the ice. Once he's safe in the garage, I marvel at how beautiful it is outside and take a deep breath. He's home! Whew.
Now I'm sitting here thankful we have underground power lines. I'm sure if we still lived downtown we'd have no power right now. I hear limbs crashing outside and keep my fingers crossed that the 1/2" of ice will take down the pear trees I hate. The ones that are casting shade on the best spot in the yard to have a nice garden in the spring.
The kids are still sleeping....my fingers are cold. I think French toast and hot chocolate would be a good breakfast. And, definitely, it should be Pajama Day.
Nice Guy works 3rd shift and went into work early last night, anticipating he'd be home by 2:00 a.m. or so. I woke at 5:00 with a start. He was not in bed with me, nor was he watching TV or reading the paper, or in fact, anywhere in the whole house. (Finally, duh!, I check the garage to see if the car is there. Nope.) I let my puppers out to go potty and it is icy on the deck. I panic and try to call his cell phone. No answer.
I keep thinking he surely would not have stayed at work. After one too many bad weather accidents we are very skittish when it ices like this. Finally, I turn on the news and hear the weather lady explain, yes, there is ice on certain surfaces like this car window here, but the roads are clear. She demonstrates by smacking the car window with a gloved hand and the road she's on with her boot. Back to you, Bob.
He must still be at work.....I'm assuming. I guess I should I mention right now that when he enters the security gate at work, it takes an act of Congress for me to get in touch with him. When my sister called me at 2:00 in the morning on September 28th and said, hurry, dad has taken a turn for the worse and we're not sure he's gonna make it. I had to beg a security guard to go find him because he didn't answer his cell. He actually took my NAME and NUMBER FOR HIS RECORDS while I'm crying on the phone begging him to please go to B Bay and get my husband.....My DAD is DYING! Looking back now I'm sure I was talking to a robot who only sounded human.
So now, this morning, I'm pacing, trying to pray, but why is that almost impossible when you're a nervous wreck? I continue to watch the news where they continue to assure me the roads are safe. I see livecams of roads near his place of employment and watch cars whizzing by. I start to relax a little. Finally, he calls at 7:00 to tell me he's on his way home. I have to yell at him a bit for not letting me know anything because that's what wives do. He promises to take it slow coming home and when I hear the garage door open I rush outside and see him at the bottom of the drive, barely able to get through the two crepe myrtles on either side because they are bent double under the ice. Once he's safe in the garage, I marvel at how beautiful it is outside and take a deep breath. He's home! Whew.
Now I'm sitting here thankful we have underground power lines. I'm sure if we still lived downtown we'd have no power right now. I hear limbs crashing outside and keep my fingers crossed that the 1/2" of ice will take down the pear trees I hate. The ones that are casting shade on the best spot in the yard to have a nice garden in the spring.
The kids are still sleeping....my fingers are cold. I think French toast and hot chocolate would be a good breakfast. And, definitely, it should be Pajama Day.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Ya-Ya!
I am a pledge carrying, hat wearing, oath sworn, blood pricked member of the Ya-Ya's. I am a sustah. A sustah of the Divine Ya-Ya's.
And today, praise the Lord!, was our monthly girlfest where the 7 of us, all homeschooling moms, get together (17 children between us), eat (mostly desserts, today there were about 5), drink coffee and run our mouths for as long as possible. Normally we get together between 10 and 11 in the morning and leave at a respectable time - like when the husbands start coming home from work.
Some of our husbands have asked what the heck we do all day. Well....we don't know. Do we have to "do" something? Can't we just talk? One Ya-Ya husband, unfortunate man that he was, came home during one of our fests and later told his wife we sounded like a brood of cackling hens. We understand that they don't understand and we don't care. We talk until we are winded, laugh until our cheeks ache and eat until we're about to burst.
So here's to the sustahs! Sustah Dremi! Sustah C.! Sustah T1 and Sustah T2! Sustah Leesha! Sustah Beckster! Love you gals....thanks for the laughs....thanks for the love. Can't wait 'til next month.
And today, praise the Lord!, was our monthly girlfest where the 7 of us, all homeschooling moms, get together (17 children between us), eat (mostly desserts, today there were about 5), drink coffee and run our mouths for as long as possible. Normally we get together between 10 and 11 in the morning and leave at a respectable time - like when the husbands start coming home from work.
Some of our husbands have asked what the heck we do all day. Well....we don't know. Do we have to "do" something? Can't we just talk? One Ya-Ya husband, unfortunate man that he was, came home during one of our fests and later told his wife we sounded like a brood of cackling hens. We understand that they don't understand and we don't care. We talk until we are winded, laugh until our cheeks ache and eat until we're about to burst.
So here's to the sustahs! Sustah Dremi! Sustah C.! Sustah T1 and Sustah T2! Sustah Leesha! Sustah Beckster! Love you gals....thanks for the laughs....thanks for the love. Can't wait 'til next month.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Well, I think it's obvious these pictures should be down there with my Keeping Big Momma post, but I'm still figuring out how to post pix on this thing. Anywho! Check us out! Even Nice Guy got in on the action with me. A little Sly and the Family Stone. Notice how WHITE my hand is. It had yet to receive the Dermablend treatment.
What Smells?
I'm currently testing this hypothesis: "The older girls get, the smellier they become."
Forget poopy diapers and spit up. Forget dried, mashed yams on their sweet little faces. You are from yesteryear. And you are nothing a little Lysol and soap can't fix.
Instead, let's take some very cherry shower gel, vanilla body lotion, freesia body splash, strawberry lip gloss, apple shampoo, pear conditioner, fresh ocean deodorant and combine it with hair gel, hair straightener, hair spray and hair serum. Apply to one tall, but tiny 14 year-old. Needless to say, I cope with this on a daily basis by staying a wee bit at a distance.
I have a dilemma when there's a spend-the-night party here, though, because we now have 7 or 8 other girls with similar combinations. Instead of just vanilla body lotion, we could also have cucumber melon, plumeria or juniper breeze. Instead of a simple pear splash, we might also have warm vanilla, black raspberry, or brown sugar. Multiple that by 7 (or 8). And then mutiply again by all the shampoos, lotions, hair tonics, splashes and conditioners one teenage girl has on her self at one time. It's an equation beyond my mathematical abilities but will help you see why a gas mask would be a good Christmas present for me. Currently I handle the situation by taking a deep breath, running into the playroom and throwing sodas and popcorn at them before I turn blue and pass out.
Thank you Bath and Body Works, at least I always know where she is. Even if we are in the middle of a crowded store weeks before Christmas and I've lost sight of her, I can tell she's close by. And although I can't get real close to her anymore, no boy will either. And, while I used to think you were an instrument of Satan, I'm starting to wonder if an enterprising mother created you in her kitchen just in time to unleash it on her adolescent child.
Forget poopy diapers and spit up. Forget dried, mashed yams on their sweet little faces. You are from yesteryear. And you are nothing a little Lysol and soap can't fix.
Instead, let's take some very cherry shower gel, vanilla body lotion, freesia body splash, strawberry lip gloss, apple shampoo, pear conditioner, fresh ocean deodorant and combine it with hair gel, hair straightener, hair spray and hair serum. Apply to one tall, but tiny 14 year-old. Needless to say, I cope with this on a daily basis by staying a wee bit at a distance.
I have a dilemma when there's a spend-the-night party here, though, because we now have 7 or 8 other girls with similar combinations. Instead of just vanilla body lotion, we could also have cucumber melon, plumeria or juniper breeze. Instead of a simple pear splash, we might also have warm vanilla, black raspberry, or brown sugar. Multiple that by 7 (or 8). And then mutiply again by all the shampoos, lotions, hair tonics, splashes and conditioners one teenage girl has on her self at one time. It's an equation beyond my mathematical abilities but will help you see why a gas mask would be a good Christmas present for me. Currently I handle the situation by taking a deep breath, running into the playroom and throwing sodas and popcorn at them before I turn blue and pass out.
Thank you Bath and Body Works, at least I always know where she is. Even if we are in the middle of a crowded store weeks before Christmas and I've lost sight of her, I can tell she's close by. And although I can't get real close to her anymore, no boy will either. And, while I used to think you were an instrument of Satan, I'm starting to wonder if an enterprising mother created you in her kitchen just in time to unleash it on her adolescent child.
I'm Keeping Big Momma
Only a jealous, catty woman keeps her beauty secrets to herself, so that is why I'm proud to share with you, right here, right now, my latest beauty product discoveries.
I would never have found these items unless I was trying to become a black woman. As fate would have it, this is exactly what I was doing this past weekend for our church Christmas play. Officially, I was an angel. A black angel. Without wings. (A 4 year-old pointed this out to me when the play was over.) In real-time I am a laid-back, pale, blonde woman, so it was going to take quite a bit to turn me into a dark-skinned sistah.
Having been in my share of mixed congregation Pentecostal churches, I already had the voice and attitude. Just to make sure, I watched Juanita Bynum on the internet Friday afternoon and added a last minute prop: a white hankie. The woman is loud, anointed AND beautiful. Her make-up is flawless, her nails perfect, her hair silky, her skin creamy. Inspired, I decided to scope out some appropriate beauty products. Products, I being a stay-at-home mom don't normally wear, but a jazzy black woman would.
As background information, you should know I had already purchased my wig: a black beehive. (For Halloween next year, I'm thinking I might be a Shirelle, as my wig looked just like the one pictured here, 2nd from the left.) I had also purchased a small jar of Dermablend make-up, chroma 6. So, I had the skin and the hair, but I needed darker make-up to show up on this new skin. Some dragon nails and false eyelashes would be a hoot too, I reasoned.
So, I happened to be at Target and decided to check out the cosmetics section. Well, looky there. Target has a line of make-up for black women called Milani. Gazing at me from the eyeshadow slot was a compact of Panther-colored eyeshadow called Atlantis. "Haa!" I yell in victory. I grab it like there's a mob of make-up hungry women behind me and shove it in my buggy. Before we progress, didya take a second to click on that Panther link right there? Because you have to grasp the color. It is bright, royal blue. BRIGHT! The sistahs are doing it now, I think.
Next, we come to eyelashes. Gosh. These look nice. 100% sterilized human hair. Hmmm...when did this happen? My memory of false eyelashes is playing with these plastic spider looking thingys my grandma had in her bathroom when I was little. I might could actually use these later. So I look for a pair that would be wearable in the future and snag some.
Nails. Dragon Nails. I know they make them, but I don't see any. Instead, on sale for a very good price, are some respectably long ones painted the exact same color as my toenails. In the buggy they go (this is how you can tell I'm from the South....not cart, buggy.)
So I get home and pull everything out. On goes the Dermablend. I try to make myself even darker than dress rehearsal night. Alright. Looking good. I pencil in BLACK eyebrows. Nice. A swath of frosty blue on each eyelid and then I pop open Atlantis. I begin painting my crease with this and step back. Hunh....that's......gosh.....that's pretty! What a pretty color! It looks nothing like it does sitting alone in the compact. I add more to make it darker. There. Hmm....will have to check that out later.
On go the lashes. Ouch. Okay, how do I get these to not stick to my tear duct? Not easy to get them on. Glue, press, wrong, peel off, restick....my hand is cramping, but finally, they are in place and at a level of irritation I can live with for the next few hours. I bat my eyes at myself. Nice Guy walks in and I bat my eyes at him. He chuckles. "You're darker than you were last night," he notices, "lookin' good!" Banana walks in, "Ohmigosh!! You do NOT look good as a black person!" I do a Juanita on her and she laughs. "That's pretty good," she says, "Ohmigosh, mom, you're going to be SO funny!" Lastly I stick on my nails. Glue, stick. Glue, stick. Easy and sooo pretty! Looks like I just had a manicure.
So....I look good. I go to church and do the play. Success. People don't know it's me. My pastor gushes that we need to do it again! Everyone was funny, not just me. It was a humorous look at the birth of Jesus, shall we say. The littlest kids are kind of in awe. I'm kissing them all on the cheek with my bright red lips and telling them not to wash off their "angel kisses." The older boys are running by and laughing and calling me Big Momma. I'm not insulted. I'm flattered.
And then it's over and I go home to my beauty products.
Next day, I try a little, bitty bit of the eyeshadow and it's gorgeous! Brings out my blue-green eyes. Normally, I wear eyeliner and mascara so this is a big improvement. And my beautiful long red nails are still stuck in place. It's been 3 days now and I've only had to reglue 2 of them. I think I'm gonna keep them. Yesterday I had to run by Walgreens and decided to take notice of what else is available. I'm thinking I'm going to try a shorter, French manicure next.
As for the eyelashes, well, they are still sitting there in the case. I'll probably use them when Nice Guy and I have our next date. I can bat my blue-painted, long-lashed eyes at him and run my fake nails lovingly and meaningfully up his arm.
So, who woulda thunk it? Fake nails, fake lashes and screamin' blue eyeshadow. Next time you feel like your beauty routine is stagnant, think ethnic....think Juanita!
I would never have found these items unless I was trying to become a black woman. As fate would have it, this is exactly what I was doing this past weekend for our church Christmas play. Officially, I was an angel. A black angel. Without wings. (A 4 year-old pointed this out to me when the play was over.) In real-time I am a laid-back, pale, blonde woman, so it was going to take quite a bit to turn me into a dark-skinned sistah.
Having been in my share of mixed congregation Pentecostal churches, I already had the voice and attitude. Just to make sure, I watched Juanita Bynum on the internet Friday afternoon and added a last minute prop: a white hankie. The woman is loud, anointed AND beautiful. Her make-up is flawless, her nails perfect, her hair silky, her skin creamy. Inspired, I decided to scope out some appropriate beauty products. Products, I being a stay-at-home mom don't normally wear, but a jazzy black woman would.
As background information, you should know I had already purchased my wig: a black beehive. (For Halloween next year, I'm thinking I might be a Shirelle, as my wig looked just like the one pictured here, 2nd from the left.) I had also purchased a small jar of Dermablend make-up, chroma 6. So, I had the skin and the hair, but I needed darker make-up to show up on this new skin. Some dragon nails and false eyelashes would be a hoot too, I reasoned.
So, I happened to be at Target and decided to check out the cosmetics section. Well, looky there. Target has a line of make-up for black women called Milani. Gazing at me from the eyeshadow slot was a compact of Panther-colored eyeshadow called Atlantis. "Haa!" I yell in victory. I grab it like there's a mob of make-up hungry women behind me and shove it in my buggy. Before we progress, didya take a second to click on that Panther link right there? Because you have to grasp the color. It is bright, royal blue. BRIGHT! The sistahs are doing it now, I think.
Next, we come to eyelashes. Gosh. These look nice. 100% sterilized human hair. Hmmm...when did this happen? My memory of false eyelashes is playing with these plastic spider looking thingys my grandma had in her bathroom when I was little. I might could actually use these later. So I look for a pair that would be wearable in the future and snag some.
Nails. Dragon Nails. I know they make them, but I don't see any. Instead, on sale for a very good price, are some respectably long ones painted the exact same color as my toenails. In the buggy they go (this is how you can tell I'm from the South....not cart, buggy.)
So I get home and pull everything out. On goes the Dermablend. I try to make myself even darker than dress rehearsal night. Alright. Looking good. I pencil in BLACK eyebrows. Nice. A swath of frosty blue on each eyelid and then I pop open Atlantis. I begin painting my crease with this and step back. Hunh....that's......gosh.....that's pretty! What a pretty color! It looks nothing like it does sitting alone in the compact. I add more to make it darker. There. Hmm....will have to check that out later.
On go the lashes. Ouch. Okay, how do I get these to not stick to my tear duct? Not easy to get them on. Glue, press, wrong, peel off, restick....my hand is cramping, but finally, they are in place and at a level of irritation I can live with for the next few hours. I bat my eyes at myself. Nice Guy walks in and I bat my eyes at him. He chuckles. "You're darker than you were last night," he notices, "lookin' good!" Banana walks in, "Ohmigosh!! You do NOT look good as a black person!" I do a Juanita on her and she laughs. "That's pretty good," she says, "Ohmigosh, mom, you're going to be SO funny!" Lastly I stick on my nails. Glue, stick. Glue, stick. Easy and sooo pretty! Looks like I just had a manicure.
So....I look good. I go to church and do the play. Success. People don't know it's me. My pastor gushes that we need to do it again! Everyone was funny, not just me. It was a humorous look at the birth of Jesus, shall we say. The littlest kids are kind of in awe. I'm kissing them all on the cheek with my bright red lips and telling them not to wash off their "angel kisses." The older boys are running by and laughing and calling me Big Momma. I'm not insulted. I'm flattered.
And then it's over and I go home to my beauty products.
Next day, I try a little, bitty bit of the eyeshadow and it's gorgeous! Brings out my blue-green eyes. Normally, I wear eyeliner and mascara so this is a big improvement. And my beautiful long red nails are still stuck in place. It's been 3 days now and I've only had to reglue 2 of them. I think I'm gonna keep them. Yesterday I had to run by Walgreens and decided to take notice of what else is available. I'm thinking I'm going to try a shorter, French manicure next.
As for the eyelashes, well, they are still sitting there in the case. I'll probably use them when Nice Guy and I have our next date. I can bat my blue-painted, long-lashed eyes at him and run my fake nails lovingly and meaningfully up his arm.
So, who woulda thunk it? Fake nails, fake lashes and screamin' blue eyeshadow. Next time you feel like your beauty routine is stagnant, think ethnic....think Juanita!
Friday, December 09, 2005
Feeding Teenagers
This is a good example of why our grocery bill went from less than $400 a month several years ago to about $600 now. I'm trying to cut it back down, but, well, I'll let you witness why this is difficult to do when my children eat several planned meals in one sitting.
Care Bare (who will be 13 in a matter of weeks and is probably about to hit her growth spurt as her older sister is now almost 6 feet tall): Moommmm.....can I make some eggs and bacon for breakfast?
Me (on the computer ignoring the fact that today is Muffin Day and would require my being downstairs and actually making said muffins): sure, sure.......but make sure you make some for everybody!
Daniel (whining): Ewwww....I don't like eggs!
Me: It's okay, you can have some cereal. We'll have bacon and eggs and cereal for breakfast.
Daniel: okay
Later on Caris, having finished her eggs, comes into the kitchen and starts pulling a bowl out of the cabinet.
Me: What are you doing?
Caris: Getting some cereal.
Me (exasperated): But you just had eggs and bacon!
Care: But you said we could have eggs and bacon and cereal for breakfast.
Me: Yeah, but I meant.....oh never mind.
I've learned to just shut up and feed them.
Care Bare (who will be 13 in a matter of weeks and is probably about to hit her growth spurt as her older sister is now almost 6 feet tall): Moommmm.....can I make some eggs and bacon for breakfast?
Me (on the computer ignoring the fact that today is Muffin Day and would require my being downstairs and actually making said muffins): sure, sure.......but make sure you make some for everybody!
Daniel (whining): Ewwww....I don't like eggs!
Me: It's okay, you can have some cereal. We'll have bacon and eggs and cereal for breakfast.
Daniel: okay
Later on Caris, having finished her eggs, comes into the kitchen and starts pulling a bowl out of the cabinet.
Me: What are you doing?
Caris: Getting some cereal.
Me (exasperated): But you just had eggs and bacon!
Care: But you said we could have eggs and bacon and cereal for breakfast.
Me: Yeah, but I meant.....oh never mind.
I've learned to just shut up and feed them.
I'm an 80's Child
Valley Girl
She's a Valley Girl
Valley Girl
She's a Valley Girl
Okay, fine
Fer sure, fer sure
She's a Valley Girl
In a clothing store
Okay, fine...Fer sure, fer sure
She's a Valley Girl
In a clothing store
Like, OH MY GOD! (Valley Girl)
Like - TOTALLY (Valley Girl)
Encino is like SO BITCHEN (Valley Girl)
There's like the Galleria (Valley Girl)
And like all these like really great shoe stores
I love going into like clothing stores and stuff
I like buy the neatest mini-skirts and stuff
It s like so BITCHEN cuz like everybody's like
Super-super nice
Hi Moon Unit. You were like totally my hero when I was in high school. I knew all the words to your song, but now I can barely remember the tune. Even living in South Carolina, I soooo totally, wanted to be a Valley Girl. It was much more fun than my prep phase. I wore headbands and leg warmers with my mini-skirts. I wore ruffles and lace and strange color combinations. It's the only time in my life I've ever worn flourescent pink. But now I'm 38 years-old and I have three children in a one-income family and so I shop at Goodwill. But thank you, Moon Unit for being a part of my childhood and teaching me Valspeak. My ability to interject non-sensical words into the middle of my speech and turn narrative sentences into questions was greatly increased because of you. It's unfortunate that I still like totally overuse the word like when I'm talking, though.
So, last night I watched Clueless - that Alicia Silverstone is such a Betty! Did you know that movie is from like 10 years ago? Ohmigod! Time flies.
So anyway, don't ask why I was actually watching that movie. I'll just say my daughter got it from the library and I'd had a long day and it was like 10:00 and I like wanted to watch some fluff before I went to bed.
I woke up wondering: is the Valley Girl still alive and shopping? Or has our current world situation finally knocked some sense into her silicone stuffed head? I decided to do some research. I'm happy to say my generation spawned THE original Vals. (Ohmigod! There's a Nicolas Cage movie from 1982 called Valley Girl. The chick is Deborah Foreman, don't know who she is. I've never seen that. What a riot! I might have to find that. Maybe watch it with my sister. Listen to some Valspeak and New Wave music again.) At any rate, when the famous Galleria Mall opened in the San Fernando Valley it was teen girl nirvana. Pac-man games! Boutiques! And the girls hanging out there somehow were bestowed with the name Valley Girl. And like any trend that comes and goes, it seems the Valley Girl has passed with time. So I don't know how, only 10 years ago, Alicia Silverstone ended up making a movie mocking this stereo-typical shallow gal that lives in the Valley. I'm sure teenage girls still live there. I guess they just shop somewhere else.
She's a Valley Girl
Valley Girl
She's a Valley Girl
Okay, fine
Fer sure, fer sure
She's a Valley Girl
In a clothing store
Okay, fine...Fer sure, fer sure
She's a Valley Girl
In a clothing store
Like, OH MY GOD! (Valley Girl)
Like - TOTALLY (Valley Girl)
Encino is like SO BITCHEN (Valley Girl)
There's like the Galleria (Valley Girl)
And like all these like really great shoe stores
I love going into like clothing stores and stuff
I like buy the neatest mini-skirts and stuff
It s like so BITCHEN cuz like everybody's like
Super-super nice
Hi Moon Unit. You were like totally my hero when I was in high school. I knew all the words to your song, but now I can barely remember the tune. Even living in South Carolina, I soooo totally, wanted to be a Valley Girl. It was much more fun than my prep phase. I wore headbands and leg warmers with my mini-skirts. I wore ruffles and lace and strange color combinations. It's the only time in my life I've ever worn flourescent pink. But now I'm 38 years-old and I have three children in a one-income family and so I shop at Goodwill. But thank you, Moon Unit for being a part of my childhood and teaching me Valspeak. My ability to interject non-sensical words into the middle of my speech and turn narrative sentences into questions was greatly increased because of you. It's unfortunate that I still like totally overuse the word like when I'm talking, though.
So, last night I watched Clueless - that Alicia Silverstone is such a Betty! Did you know that movie is from like 10 years ago? Ohmigod! Time flies.
So anyway, don't ask why I was actually watching that movie. I'll just say my daughter got it from the library and I'd had a long day and it was like 10:00 and I like wanted to watch some fluff before I went to bed.
I woke up wondering: is the Valley Girl still alive and shopping? Or has our current world situation finally knocked some sense into her silicone stuffed head? I decided to do some research. I'm happy to say my generation spawned THE original Vals. (Ohmigod! There's a Nicolas Cage movie from 1982 called Valley Girl. The chick is Deborah Foreman, don't know who she is. I've never seen that. What a riot! I might have to find that. Maybe watch it with my sister. Listen to some Valspeak and New Wave music again.) At any rate, when the famous Galleria Mall opened in the San Fernando Valley it was teen girl nirvana. Pac-man games! Boutiques! And the girls hanging out there somehow were bestowed with the name Valley Girl. And like any trend that comes and goes, it seems the Valley Girl has passed with time. So I don't know how, only 10 years ago, Alicia Silverstone ended up making a movie mocking this stereo-typical shallow gal that lives in the Valley. I'm sure teenage girls still live there. I guess they just shop somewhere else.
Pancake Breakfast
Nothing promotes me to Super Mom status (see my picture) more than making my kids pancakes for breakfast. It is the only breakfast item left in our house that everyone likes. For some reason Banana has decided she hates cold cereal now (not that cold cereal fills anyone up for more than 30 minutes), Party Man thinks eggs are gross and Care Bear doesn't like toast. Wah, wah, wah....I get sick of listening to it. But pancakes! You should see the attention I get around here when I mention that magic word!
Now, from Mom's point of view.....who wants to make pancakes for breakfast? Even as a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom, this breakfast is a pain to make. You have to measure ingredients! And pull all the baking stuff out! And it makes a mess! Eggs, milk, baking powder, did I forget anything? My mom only made pancakes for dinner - smart. So anyway, I was so happy when I discovered this recipe for pancake mix! (You'll need to scroll down a bit to find it.) Leanne Ely you rock, girlfriend! AND biggest bonus of all, it contains several different types of grains other than white flour. It makes a very nice tasting pancake if I do say so myself.
Now, from Mom's point of view.....who wants to make pancakes for breakfast? Even as a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom, this breakfast is a pain to make. You have to measure ingredients! And pull all the baking stuff out! And it makes a mess! Eggs, milk, baking powder, did I forget anything? My mom only made pancakes for dinner - smart. So anyway, I was so happy when I discovered this recipe for pancake mix! (You'll need to scroll down a bit to find it.) Leanne Ely you rock, girlfriend! AND biggest bonus of all, it contains several different types of grains other than white flour. It makes a very nice tasting pancake if I do say so myself.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
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